Saturday morning, I woke up in a mess created during previous night’s party. And, on top of that my maid is on sick leave from past three days. These three days have made me realize the importance of “Garbage Collector” (GC) which I have ignored during my four years of programming career. For non computer background folks, GC is a piece of program which releases the computer memory. We programmers (Java) are least bothered about GC, we write stupid code hoping GC to do the cleaning stuff. If the Shit of stupid programming goes out of control, GC throws “Out of Memory exception.” They should have named it “Too much of Shit exception” but they ignored me.Now I have to do GC kinda job and my right brain is telling “Wait for some time, she may turn up today.” And my left brain says “You idiot, she is on sick leave not becoz she is really sick! Becoz u have denied the pay hike.” Well, within two months of her joining she demanded a steep pay hike sighting various vegetable prices. I haven’t denied her pay hike, I just told her to wait till my appraisal and based on its outcome I can decide her pay hike.. That’s it!! She wasn’t impressed a bit and went on a furious sick leave! Now, even I am planning to put all vegetable prices in my appraisal form, hope it works!
My laziness said to go with the right brain and I decided to ditch cleansing job and hit the kitchen for cup of coffee. Best part of weekend is you get a plenty of time to read News paper with a cup of coffee.
Newspaper was filled with the story of unsuccessful landing of AI aircraft in Mangalore. I think only AI is capable of beating the record of Mig-21. While I was busy reading the details about the crash, out of nowhere a Cockroach landed capriciously on the front page! Petrified I had to jump off my ass to get a cockroach repellent spray. Just before I could use it I heard an anonymous sound…
“Wait…why do you want to kill me?”
Hell of a surprise!!…That’s the Cockroach screeching!! Begging for its life….
I yelled back “You cheap creature, why do u want to live? You are of no use to this world”
“Yeah… you mean how I am useful to human being, right?” Mr. C asked.
“Yes…u got it” I said.
“I don’t understand why you human beings classify everything based on your usefulness and need. Have you ever thought how useful you are to the other species and our planet?”
“What do you mean?” I asked…
Mr C continued..
“Humans are the most selfish creature. Look at what u have done to the planet earth for your greed. Due to deforestation and industrialization pollution levels are rising so high even my kids are getting asthma!”
“Don’t worry… we are the most intellectual living things of the planet Earth. We will definitely work out..” I tried to justify.
“Shut up….!! You are the most stupid creature! No doubt you guys found water on moon, kudos! But you morons are polluting your own planet’s rivers! You are spending Trillions of Dollars on finding life on other planets while ignoring those millions of fellow humans who are dying by starvation. Because of you, thousands of species are on the verge of extinction. Forget about other species look at what you are doing to self, you are divided among countries, states, religions, sub religions and fight with each others for stupid reasons! And, you claim you are the most intellectual creature! You guys lack Common Sense!! ” Mr. C shouted..
I kept silence…
Mr C continued its speech..
And you are asking me how I am useful to human beings??
I am useful to you in many ways..
Remember your school days and I am damn sure you remember that beautiful arrogant girl. You boys wanted to teach her a lesson and you put one of my friends (another Cockroach) into her bag. How much fun u all had when she was scared to death! And during interval you used to discuss about that Cockroach being very lucky for having kiss her hand. You fools didn’t even know that cockroach was female!
I still remember the murder you committed in your 10+2 biology lab. You have killed my close friend to study “Digestive System.” And, after that you ass chose to become Software Eng!!
I don’t understand why Bollywood movie directors give all the credit to “Thunder strike” for bringing a gorgeous girl into hero's arms. In real life it’s me who always do that job for many guys..
But you have not yet answered my question…
“How humans are useful to other species?” asked Mr. C
I have no answer…
